well its 2008.. and oh hey.. I'm not skinny! way to go Rach.. so I created a new lj.. since I'm not attempting to starve myself anymore(still dieting though) I think I've already added most of you.. but if i didn't... add me! whenyoustayx
I'm such a dummy.. i don't know how to make links and all that so just look me up.
I just cleaned out my closet and my chest.. and had four bags of grabage to take out.
next: get my vanity out and find other stuff to put my makeup and hair stuff in Move my pictures/posters around so i don't feel like the walls are closing in on me clean computer stand.. yuck clean under my bed.. yuck.
I can't believe 2007 is ending soon. This is probably my last entry of the year so I'll try to make it philosiphical or whatever.
2007 has probably been my best year since dad walked out 7 years ago. I don't really know what it was but I just felt myself getting stronger and just realizing that life is too damn short to be anything but happy. Could things be better? hell yeah. I still have nights that I'm up until 2 or 3 o clock crying about things that have happened in the past that I shouldn't be worrying about anymore. But it's who i am and I'll get better at dealing with stuff when I'm ready.
I've finally been able to accept myself for my shortcomings. That is something that i have battled with for twenty years. Yeah i still live with my mom and am probably a little too attached for my age but I have a relationship with my mom that i wouldn't trade for anything in the world. I will never ever be a size two. And i really don't want to be. I love my curves and I may not always like what i see in the mirror but how many people do? The hardest thing was accepting my health for what it is. It's very exhausting and overwhleming but it is what it is. Not being able to drive or work because of it sucks but I make do. Ebay is really perfect for me. I guess i went too long getting angry at God for constantly throwing these things at me that i never stopped to realize that they make me stronger and that if i have him on my side I'll be okay.
I'm a little superstitious and think that even years are bad for me. so Hopefully 2008 will break that trend!
so Christmas was reallly really good this year.. the fam was all tolerable and everyone was in good moods. Everyone liked what i got them so i was happy about that..
I got wayyy too much stuff.. anyone who knows me knows i hate clutter and I didn't even tackle putting any of my stuff away until last night.. and i eneded up being up until one haha
I almost got this at the park and chapel in MO but didn't because it was too much.. but wouldn't stop talking about it haha
a few years ago my mom made me a monopoly game called "Rachopoly" all about me and she redid the whole thing.. it's my favorite gift I've ever gotten.. the sad thing though was she accidently told me before xmas what it was so I kinda knew but this year she made me a "vacationopoly" and it has all our trips to NYC and my road trip to OK, hanson road trips.. etc. I love it! seriously.. how awesome is my mom?
the whole McGillicudy! people are going to have to come and feed me through one of those tubes lol.. I'll never leave the house now that i have this
mom made me another afghan.. how adorable is it? seriously.. and I got new sheets and a bedskirt from delias.. they kinda clash.. but its all so Rachel that i don't even care haha
overall it was a really good day.. I'm very thankful that I have such a close and supportive family. We all really pull together when one of us is in trouble.